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Friends Role Play

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The one where you feel Monica's boot in your ass! [12 Aug 2003|07:15pm]

[ mood | crazy ]

OKAY! You people died on me again! That is NOT how it works! That is not in the rules! PLAY FAIR! Or... or you're going to not only make me crazy but feel my wrath! OH YEAH!

I made sure I commented every single entry, even though I didn't have anything to say most of the time, which is pretty damn unusual if I do say myself! Anyway, once I'd made a comment I had to make all the other posts match... I had to have them all say `1 Comment`, but then, then someone had already MADE a comment and ruined my pattern, because that `1 Comment` only counts if it's ONE MONICA COMMENT, so I had to comment again and now one of those posts says `2 Comments` on it... I CAN'T TAKE IT!


Ok, now for the point of my entry, I hadn't actually thought of one, but that's ok, I'll stay calm and something will come to me... RIGHT?!

My brother is an idiot. YES! YES!!! It came to me! I knew it would! I WIN! Ok so the subject of this entry is `My brother Ross: The idiot` he went all the way to England... WE ALL besides Pheebs went all the way to England only to witness Ross saying `RACHEL` instead of `EMILY`, I mean COME ON ROSS! How different can two names be!

I'd have told mom if she hadn't been there and witnessed it first hand!

Ok, that's all.


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Yeah baby [30 Jun 2003|03:52pm]
[ mood | flirty ]

I totally hooked up with one of Emily's bridesmaids.

I was at the rehersal dinner and just did my toast. Got all sad because I missed home. I MISS YOU PHOEBE!! And the babies too!

So we talked for a bit. She liked my accent. I talked New York for her.

"Forget about it." and the very popular for me, "How you doin?"

We went up to her room, but I stopped by my room to puick up some strawberries and wine. Planned to do things London-style.

Chandler was in bed and asked for one of his condoms...man that guy just gets weirder and wierder. What was he doing? Or do I even want to know?

Anyway...we had some wine, i traced the strawberries down ther body...won't go into detail because I am a gentlemen.

Phoebe told me we had to stop Rachel from seeing Ross, but Chandler screwed it up. He was distracted by a pretty girl. That Chandler.

*off looks* That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Ross said Rachel! Ross said Rachel! What are they gonna do now? He's married to Emily now.

I leave you with the pick-up line of the day:

"I saw you from across the room and thought 'She's so beautiful, I have to ask for her number or I'll regret it for the rest of my life.'"

- Joey

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The one where Ross says Rachel [30 Jun 2003|08:54am]

[ mood | listless ]

Uh...did he just say, uh, RACHEL? Ohmigod. Ross just said Rachel. Ross just said Rachel. Rachel is ME!! Ross just said, "I take thee, RACHEL"...and RACHEL is me!! Ohmigod! Ohmigod! Ohmigod! Ohmigod! I think I just had a heart attack. Yes, I had a heart attack. Oh dear God I had a heart attack.

This is unreal. This is surreal. I don't know what to do! I don't know what to say! What does this mean!? Oh, shit, they're going ahead with it anyway. What did I expect? That Ross would say "Hey, Rach! Come on up here and I'll marry you instead!" Of course that wouldn't happen. What the hell was I thinking? I wasn't thinking, that was the thing. Why did I ever come to London in the first place? It was ridiculous to think I could stop anything. Especially after what went on between us. I mean, we can never go back there. Can we...?

Damnit, Rachel! Get yourself together. The man is married now. A technicality, I realize, but still. He's married. Why is everyone starring at me?! They're all starring at me. Oh God, I feel like such an idiot. Okay, everyone. STOP STARRING. I didn't make him say it. He just said it! I had no idea, really.

I need a new pair of black boots.
Oh, and maybe a new sweater. Green, I'm thinking. Green, like me. Greene.


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Babies, oh babies, oh oh oh oh! [25 Jun 2003|11:02pm]

[ mood | moody ]

Oh no! What have I done! I told Rachel that Ross is her lobster and now she wants to go to London to stop the wedding. Bad Phoebe! Very bad me! Blame the hormones…they make me say things.

I just thought she knew because we all know and we talk about it all the time. It's the big subject to talk about. It's like hey guys, did you know Rachel still loves Ross. Yep. No new news there! Telling Rachel she loves Ross is like telling Monica, oh you like things clean. Or telling Ross, oh you're boring sometimes and you marry lesbians.

Rachel is now maxing out all her credit cards. Oh! She should buy me things if she's planning on going broke. I can't get up or I would buy things for me too. The babies are still kicking each other and giving me false labor like every five minutes! Can't they just learn to get along?

That's it…I am writing my babies a song about fetal friendship!

Babies, oh babies, when will you learn.
You're tied together like Chinese bamboo fern.
So why don't you start getting along
Or else Mommy will get mad and turn into King Kong
Babies, oh babies, oh oh oh oh
Babies, oh babies, I love you so
Babies, oh babies, oh oh oh oh
Babies, oh babies, don't hurt me though!

That will teach those babies of mine to stop kicking each other! I don't want to become King Kong! He's big and hairy and Monica would yell at me if I got gorilla hair all over her furniture. See, I'm stating the obvious again. It's like a disease! Oh no! It could be spreading all over the city like syphilis! And everyone could be stating obvious things like Rachel likes to shop and then there will be chaos! CHAOS EVERYWHERE! What have I started?

Oh, now look at that, I'm crying again. And I can't get up because my belly is so big and I really need a Kleenex so I don't have to sniff back and get my throat all phlegmy even though I have a sexy phlegmy voice. Rachel! I need Kleenex! The little padded kind with the lotion in it that feels oh so soft on my nose that's so big and red from crying so much. Damn you, hormones!

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Marriage [23 Jun 2003|01:12pm]

[ mood | happy ]



Can you believe I'm getting married?! IN LONDON?! This is so unreal! Who would've ever thought I'd get married again? After my firt wife turned out to be a lesbian, I never would've thought this day would come! But now I'm getting married to the most beautiful woman in the world. Rach Emily! *cough*

She's bummed out right now because everything seems to be going wrong. The caterer can't make Chicken Terragon; Chicken Kieve instead. She can't get tulips. The place where her parents were married seems to have gotten teared down, and she's having a mental breakdown over that. But we'll work it out. We'll find some place to have the wedding.

I really wish Rachel could have come. I mean, it's my wedding day, and she said she had to work. I don't believe that. She could've come, and just taken a few days off. When is she going to get to come to London with all of her friends again? It's a once in a life-time thing.

Words of the day:

excretion: what will happen to joey's body fluids if he doesn't stop saying "LONDON BABY" around chandler

conquest: what i plan to do in the museum once i get back to work!

-Ross out-

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The one with the first post [23 Jun 2003|08:27am]

[ mood | guilty ]

Everyone keeps asking if I'm okay with them all going to London and leaving me here with the pregnant one. Of course I'm okay, I say. But am I? Not really. Ross is going to marry Emily. Perfect, beautiful, British Emily, and I'm still going to be stuck in New York alone with a pregnant lady that keeps yelling orders!

I just got home from shopping. Pheobe made me realize that I still have feelings for Ross (I hate it when I'm left out like this) and I tried to drown all my troubles with a credit card, but it didn't seem to work that way. Since when do I still have feelings for Ross? I didn't know that! I'm tired of being flaky Rachel, "Oh she just wouldn't understand..." The hell I wouldn't! Next time you all know that I have feelings for Ross, let me know! Thanks.

I'll leave you with my shopping purchases.

Green suede jacket from Saks Fifth Avenue
Brown heel boots from Barney's
2 blouses from Bloomingdale's
5 pairs of underwear from Victoria's Secret

1 maxed out credit card.


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"LONDON BABY!" [22 Jun 2003|03:18pm]

[ mood | tired ]

Joey is SO annoying me by saying that. I'm all packed and ready to go to London for Ross and Emily's wedding. Can't believe they're getting married so soon. It's been what six weeks?

Anyway...got some condoms. I plan to hook up in London. Maybe I'll fall in love. *laughs* Yeah right.

I was waiting for Joey to finish packing so I decided to talk to the chick and the duck.

"Look guys, I know you want to come along too, but you can't. Animals are not allowed to be taken out of international airports. And I don't want to keep you guys in the cargo load."

The duck quacked.

"I would take you if I could. But we wouldn't be able to take you to the wedding. I'm sorry."

The chick flapped its wings.

"Don't get snippy with me. Now the rules...1) No wild parties while we're gone. 2) Don't open the door for strangers. 3) No women either...I know your buxom young birds but we have rules in this house."

"What are you doing," Joey asked me as he came out of the room.

"Setting the ground rules for while we're gone."

"Oh...okay. Don't forget to tell them to leave the beer alone."

"Rule four...no touching our beer. Aunt Phoebe and Aunt Rachel will be coming over to feed and check on you guys."

"Ready to go? LONDON BABY!"

"Could you stop saying that?"


I had to sit by Monica on the plane...I was really going to end up killing Joey if I had to sit by him. So I let Ross sit by him.

So taht's it for now...I leave you with the Chandler Joke of the Day:

Flight Attendant: Peanuts?
Me: Yes please...the Snoopy if you have it.

I know lame. I'm better on the ground.

- Chandler

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[21 Jun 2003|02:49pm]

[ mood | OCD!Filled ]

Are we EVER going to get this thing started? You ask me to join, AND THEN YOU ALL DIE! Leaving me to stare day in day out at this blank journal just BEGGING for an entry in it!


[lmao Monica!flip]

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