Phoebe Buffay (_phoebebuffay_) wrote in friends_rp,
Phoebe Buffay

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Babies, oh babies, oh oh oh oh!

Oh no! What have I done! I told Rachel that Ross is her lobster and now she wants to go to London to stop the wedding. Bad Phoebe! Very bad me! Blame the hormones…they make me say things.

I just thought she knew because we all know and we talk about it all the time. It's the big subject to talk about. It's like hey guys, did you know Rachel still loves Ross. Yep. No new news there! Telling Rachel she loves Ross is like telling Monica, oh you like things clean. Or telling Ross, oh you're boring sometimes and you marry lesbians.

Rachel is now maxing out all her credit cards. Oh! She should buy me things if she's planning on going broke. I can't get up or I would buy things for me too. The babies are still kicking each other and giving me false labor like every five minutes! Can't they just learn to get along?

That's it…I am writing my babies a song about fetal friendship!

Babies, oh babies, when will you learn.
You're tied together like Chinese bamboo fern.
So why don't you start getting along
Or else Mommy will get mad and turn into King Kong
Babies, oh babies, oh oh oh oh
Babies, oh babies, I love you so
Babies, oh babies, oh oh oh oh
Babies, oh babies, don't hurt me though!

That will teach those babies of mine to stop kicking each other! I don't want to become King Kong! He's big and hairy and Monica would yell at me if I got gorilla hair all over her furniture. See, I'm stating the obvious again. It's like a disease! Oh no! It could be spreading all over the city like syphilis! And everyone could be stating obvious things like Rachel likes to shop and then there will be chaos! CHAOS EVERYWHERE! What have I started?

Oh, now look at that, I'm crying again. And I can't get up because my belly is so big and I really need a Kleenex so I don't have to sniff back and get my throat all phlegmy even though I have a sexy phlegmy voice. Rachel! I need Kleenex! The little padded kind with the lotion in it that feels oh so soft on my nose that's so big and red from crying so much. Damn you, hormones!
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